Lessons from the Whale
Recently I had an incredible experience. I was at a lookout on my favorite hiking trail taking in the beauty of not only my community, but of the horizon ahead, including the vast ocean dotted by the Channel Islands. It is a stunning view, and one that with the mountains holding me steady from behind, I enjoy immensely.
This time, I noticed a dark blob in the water. It seemed unusual and yet somewhat unremarkable at the same time. It wasn’t all that big, except for the fact that I was at a considerable distance away. Was it just a patch of seaweed perhaps? I let my eyes stay aware of the dark spot and picked a tree on the shoreline as an anchor point to determine if the blob was moving. Sure enough, slowly but surely, it was! Had I been in a hurry or more impatient (which I can be), I would have brushed it off and gone on my way. How easy is that to do!?! In this case, my patience, and willingness to slow down and take in my surroundings, paid off. In its own mindful meditation, the whale sauntered along its path, seemingly drifting too and fro. On occasion it would even rise up so that some of its dark back was showing. I imagined its beautiful barnacled back and the inhale of breath as it touched the water’s surface. I watched it move slowly, while smiling excitedly, and then was even more overjoyed when I realized that it was not alone. There was a smaller dark spot near the shore. Two whales! A mom and baby most likely. It was a truly awe inspiring experience, one that each day I reflect on it still makes me smile and gives me chills. Whales are such wondrous beings and can also be great messengers.
January is a great time to consider the wisdom of the whale. They are a totem of the “great mystery” of life, and are thought of as the earth’s record keepers of all time, which is perhaps a purposeful reflection for the new year, especially if you are already struggling to maintain new year intentions, or just struggling to find peace in the ever shifting state of the world. As I write this, the new year has brought tragic fires to Southern California, and the anticipation of a change in presidency in a few short days to name a couple things.
Life is indeed mysterious and it can be easy to get lost in the details and challenges, losing sight of the magic, the richness, the great majesty of life. For me, nature is something that brings me back to this daily. Everyday, if we choose it, there is something to be in awe over. A place to be grounded. Animal sightings (which I consider animal medicine) can be a fun and insightful form of spiritual and mental health guidance.
Whale Symbolism:
One of the hallmark traits of the whale is learning to trust your inner voice. This is one of my favorite aspects of being a therapist. Helping others connect to their true wants/needs/desires, which are counter to many of the “shoulds” that we learn by being told externally what’s good for us. While perhaps well-intentioned, others giving us advice are doing so from their own well-being, which may not line up with what is true for us. It is a beautiful shift to learn the sound of one’s inner voice. This can be a significant “homecoming” and can reinforce great emotional stability and life expansion. Our inner voice is always loving and kind, unlike the ego which is often critical, fearful, or anxiety provoking. We can tell if we’re in alignment with our true self based on how we feel. If we feel joyful, content, at ease, curious, or excited we are thinking or doing from our innate self. If we’re in negative emotions like fear, anxiety, distrust, or frustration, then we are out of sync in some way with our truth. We have our own internal compass that is eager and ready to help us expand our connection within. Like the whale, our inner voice is a great wisdom holder.
Communication is another great message of the whale, who communicates through song and often across great distances. Communication is about connection with others, but is also another important aspect of aligning with our inner voice. Communication allows us to share our feelings and let others know our wants, needs, and desires. This can be a very vulnerable experience, and yet this is the source of true intimacy and connection–letting ourselves be known, as well as being more receptive to others. Learning to speak honestly and respectfully is a great gift to relationships. Using “I” language that takes accountability for our experience and feelings is a practice that I teach frequently to clients, and can help shift dysfunctional relationship dynamics.
The power of relationships is a significant part of our overall mental health and wellbeing. There are many studies that show the detrimental impacts of isolation, as well as the disparity of benefits between in person and online relationships. We benefit most from both physical and emotional presence. Having eye contact, and all non-verbal cues, as well as being in physical proximity to another (safe) person, and even touch, allows our nervous systems to attune to each other, providing a richer, deeper sense of connection.
Whales are social and family oriented animals. They remind us of the power of belonging and connection. We are stronger together than as individuals. There are many experiences that can challenge our ease in connection. And given we have just finished the holiday season, I am well aware that for many, family connection is ripe with stresses and challenges. However, it is not only family where we create a sense of belonging. This can be with friends and in our community. A strong therapy relationship can help transform negative patterns from earlier relationships as well. I also find the use of EMDR to be powerful in truly healing and shifting self-defeating relationship patterns.
Overall, the new year can be a time of reflection and desire for change. The whale reminds us to examine where we are. Here are a few questions to consider:
What’s brought you to this point? What are the emotions and actions that have brought you to your current state of being? What can you do to find more peace? Is it possible to hold some of your experiences more lightly?
Therapy can be a powerful way to sort through your experiences in a safe and loving relationship—one of true acceptance and belonging. It can help you let go of patterns that no longer serve you and learn to choose healthier states of being. Not to mention feeling more connected in yourself inherently increases satisfaction in all areas of life.
I’m here for you and believe in your ability to heal and find your true voice. If you’re interested in working together, please reach out.
Fondly,