Cultivating Resilience: Facing Uncertainty

The presence of coronavirus has forced significant changes upon most everyone’s lifestyle. Change can be a difficult process, especially when it is not chosen. Uncertainty often accompanies change, and our brains can be reactive to the unknown. We tend to favor the familiar, especially when it comes to meeting basic needs. And presently, all our basic needs are challenged whether its finding toilet paper at the store, having less structure in daily routines, reduced work and income, or having little in person interaction. These changes are all significant and stressful.
 
In reality, uncertainty is a constant. However, we are facing more uncertainty than we are used to, and our minds are more focused on the presence of unknowns than is typical. This can easily create stress, struggle, and even anxiety or fear. I hear this in comments like, “What if I can’t … (go on vacation, go to college, ..),” “What will I do if … (my parents get sick, I can’t pay my bills),” “When will life go back to normal,” “I’m so over this,” and “Why can’t I focus? I’m not getting anything done.” Such thoughts and concerns are understandable.
 
Our brains are wired to seek predictability. We often think if we know what’s going to happen next we can be ready for it.  This predictability seeking is deeply associated with our sense of safety and security. It provides a perception of certainty. And in our current situation, we really can’t predict what’s next. We have no road map for this.
 

Furthermore, we have a tendency to assign meaning to our experiences, including uncertainty. We may associate uncertainty with “danger” or “bad.” However, we may also associate uncertainty with “exhilaration” and “excitement” (for example, feelings associated with a first date). Our emotional experience is highly dependent on the chosen association. And because thoughts and emotions create energy, this significantly affects our health and well-being on all levels, including greatly influencing our adaptability to change.  The chosen association, and whether or not it’s flexible or rigid, drives whether or not we enhance or diminish our resilience in times of stress.

How then, do we change our association with uncertainty?

Here are a few strategies to help you cultivate resilience in the face of uncertainty:

Consider Your Association with Uncertainty:
Take some time to reflect on how you experience uncertainty. What are the associations that come to mind? Does it feel risky and threatening? Stressful? Scary? Unbearable? Pay attention to thoughts, feelings, and body sensations connected to your perception of uncertainty. How does this affect how you take care of yourself as well as engage in the world? Take some time to journal about it. With this new awareness, stay mindful to how your perception of uncertainty might be influencing you as you go through your day. Awareness invites choice.

Sense vs Perceive:
Developing a mindfulness practice to “be with what is,” especially as it relates to how you feel in your body, can be a very powerful way of building your ability to distinguish between sensing (what is) and perception (story). Notice what your body feels like right in this moment as you sit reading this email. Think adjectives and describing words. “My shoulders feel tense and my jaw is tight. There is a warm sensation around my heart, my fingers feel energized, and I feel the firm connection of the chair against my seat.” Notice there is no judging or labeling of the experience, as well as no story or associations. Just the facts. Try doing a brief check in (10-60 seconds can be a great start!) three times a day and see what you notice.
 
Radical Acceptance:
Acceptance can be a confusing concept. Acceptance is not about liking something. In fact, it’s not about value or judgment at all (good, bad, right, wrong, fair, unfair). Acceptance is about what is. That’s it. We don’t have to like something to accept it. It’s a lot about recognizing what’s out of our control and letting go. Not in an “I don’t care” way but in a not resisting and struggling against the facts way that creates more ease and flexibility. In this current crisis you can practice accepting the fact that there is loss and difficult adjustments to your life AND not like them but still aim to approach them with ease and compassion.
 
Create Something to Anticipate:
Whether you are working from home or not working at all right now, you have undoubtedly encountered changes to your routines and levels of engagement that may make it harder to feel eagerness and anticipation. You may not have all the answers for how to navigate what lies ahead, but it can be a great resource to have something pleasurable to anticipate. This is a time to get creative and resourceful about what you consider pleasurable and fun! For example, you might make a date for yourself to have takeout for dinner. Consider making it special by using nice dishes and playing music. Have fun with it! Make a date to play a game or watch a show with a friend through video. Perhaps take a walk at a new park or beach area. Or plan a day to make a new recipe. It cuts down the amount of uncertainty when you have something to look forward to, even if it’s small. Positive anticipation can be a strong anchor.
 

Being aware of your perception of uncertainty and promoting resilience can powerfully support how you respond to change. While especially important now, such resilience will continue to be a tremendous asset throughout your life journey.
 
Stay tuned for more suggestions …
 
Wishing you health and vitality!
 
Fondly,
Mari