Oh Funk! 3 Steps to Shift Your Mood

Do you ever just feel “off” and unable to muster enthusiasm for daily activities? Feeling depleted of enthusiasm or “in a funk” can make life challenging. It’s difficult to move through life without energy, joy, motivation and enthusiasm. In fact, many people “in a funk” end up feeling down about feeling down! And yet it’s natural that you will be thrown off balance at some point, and end up feeling low. Sometimes the feeling is brief, lasting a few hours or a day. Sometimes the feeling can last for several days, or longer.

It’s important to understand how you respond to yourself when feeling down. A typical response is to get into a state of resistance or struggle out of not liking it or thinking it should be different. Resistance is often fueled by the judging mind, which quickly amplifies the experience of negative emotion by placing labels of right/wrong, fair/unfair, should/shouldn’t, like/dislike, or good/bad.

For example, the judging/critical mind might sound like: “What do you have to be unhappy about?  Others have it worse than you;” “You should be ____;”or  “Why can’t you just ____.” While the critic typically hides under the guise of being a motivator, the impact of such statements is generally anything but motivating. When one really observes the impact of these statements, it’s quite the opposite. The critic adds pressure, which triggers compounding feelings of apathy, shame, and guilt, leading one to feel stuck and immobilized. This unfortunately amplifies both the feelings of “funk” and the critical mind. It’s a vicious cycle!

So how do we break the cycle of the funk when we’re feeling off?

Here are 3 Strategies to help you shift.

 Self-Compassion:

This is the best antidote to the critic. And what is self-compassion exactly? It includes meeting yourself with kindness during painful or difficult moments; embracing your humanness; and treating yourself compassionately when you’re down, perceive failure, or feel inadequate. Self-compassion is truly caring for yourself on a deep level and trusting that you are worthy and acceptable just as you are, which is especially beneficial during times of suffering. In fact, it’s the gateway out of the funk.

It’s hard enough to feel and experience painful or difficult moments. And they are inevitable in the human experience. Things are not always going to be how we envision or want them to be. And there is often variance between your ideal self and actual self. Beating yourself up for whatever feelings, mistakes, or perceived inadequacies you face will just make it worse.

So what does self-compassion sound like? In the midst of being in a funk it might sound like, “Wow, I’m in a hard place right now. I know that everyone feels bad sometimes. I know I can get through this.” It could also sound like, “There, there dear one. I’m here with you.”

Offering yourself comfort can initially feel strange. But pay attention to what you notice when you do it. Often there will be a part of you that softens. Maybe the tension in your shoulders melts just a little bit. Or you feel a flash of hopefulness. Even the smallest shifts count! This is momentum toward feeling better!

You can amplify the experience of self-compassionate statements by placing a hand on your heart or on your arm, just like you might comfort a friend or a child.

Be aware of resistance to speaking kindly to yourself. We often offer kindness to others while withholding it from ourselves. And I promise, you are just as worthy of kindness as anyone else is!! And compassion for yourself can deepen your compassion for others. So even if it feels awkward or strange, keep inviting thoughts and actions of self-compassion into your daily life. It’s a practice. Just like building a muscle, self-compassion will grow with a bit of intention and willingness.

Pivot Your Thoughts:

The next strategy is gently pivoting your thoughts. Often when in a funk we expect ourselves to make a complete shift to feeling better instantly. Maybe this works on occasion. More often, the shift starts as a slow pivot, a gentle step in the direction of feeling better.

One example of this strategy is to find the lightest feeling thought you can find on the stressful subject. It might sound like, “I don’t like this now but I trust it can get better;” “I’d like to hold this situation more lightly;” or “I’d like to learn from this situation.”

Another strategy is to shift off the stressful subject and onto something that’s pleasing. This challenges the brains tendency to fixate on negative details while ignoring positive. Instead, focus on something that you appreciate or brings you joy. Perhaps you recently enjoyed a delicious meal, a relaxing walk, a stunning sunset, or remembered a nice thing a friend said to you. Make it a full body experience. Shifting your thoughts is useful, but the positive impact is greatly enhanced if you allow the associated pleasing feelings and sensations to go along with the thoughts. Really let yourself saturate in good feelings. Let your mind have some ease and let yourself feel good. You deserve to feel good!

Amplify the Good:

For many people, feeling good doesn’t come easily, especially during times of significant stress. To help build your resilience and amplify your capacity to return to a good-feeling place, make a list each day of things you like/appreciate/found pleasing. This helps build the momentum of good feeling. Really let yourself connect to the feelings associated with each thing on your list. This helps shift the brain’s attention from negative to positive. And where the mind goes, feelings follow. Focusing on pleasing things will inevitably promote pleasing feelings. I love using this practice before falling asleep and again first thing in the morning to set the tone for the day. Hint: You can even appreciate being cozy under the covers of your bed! And finally, using affirmations can help increase the ratio of positive (or neutral) thoughts you’re having each day.

Try these affirmations to promote self-compassion and a return to well-being:

·      I’ve been through many difficult times, I know I’ll get through this too.

·      I’m doing alright really and I’d like to be doing better.

·      I’m learning to go easier on myself.

·      I deserve to feel good.

·      I love and accept myself exactly as I am.

Hard times come and go. There is great value in the contrast of our life experience. After all, when you have been feeling low, returning to a place of well-being is that much more appreciated! Know that you have tremendous power to support yourself to return to a place of feeling good with compassion and a little bit of gentle focus.

And of course, it’s always okay to ask for help!

Wishing you health and vitality!

Fondly,

Mari